


to love, and to be in love

by ultdojae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, M/M, enjoy, idk how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 08:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12055347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultdojae/pseuds/ultdojae
Summary: twt: @nohyuckcafe





	to love, and to be in love

Jaehyun was around eight or nine years old when he noticed a sand colored van pull into the driveway across the street. Being the curious little boy Jaehyun was, he shifted his bangs out of his eyes, stood up, and walked across the street (checking both ways, of course).

 

In Jaehyun’s right hand he carried a single flower, as a greeting since he didn't have any baked goods on the spot. He twirled the yellow daffodil between his thumb and index finger. Jaehyun stood on the sidewalk filled with curiosity and anxiety as the family settled into their new home.

 

A boy, around the same age as Jaehyun, hopped out of the van, followed by several complaints of how tired he was. The boy’s mother walked over to him and crouched down. Jaehyun was looking down at his dirt covered shoes, not noticing that the little boy was walking over to him.

 

“Hello?” The boy asked, grabbing Jaehyun’s attention.

 

Jaehyun snapped his head up, shoving the daffodil in the boy's face. “Hello! I'm Jaehyun. I live across the street.”

 

Giving a funny face before hesitantly grabbing the flower, the boy answers. “Hi, Jaehyun. My name is Doyoung.”

 

“Doyoung, ah, I like that.” Jaehyun compliments. He notices Doyoung’s face fades to a light shade of pink. “Do you have some free time to play?” Doyoung turns around, searching for his mother. Doyoung runs off a returns a few moments later with a smile.

 

“My mom said I could play with you.”

  


Freshman Year 

  


“Do you get any of this?” Jaehyun asked. He was sat next to Doyoung in the school's library, reviewing the notes for his class in which he had a test in.

 

“Maybe, if you payed attention, you would get it.” Doyoung snapped.

 

“Whoa, who pissed in your wheaties this morning?” Jaehyun rose his hands defensively.

 

Doyoung sighs once he realized what he's said. “I'm sorry, I just-”

 

Jaehyun interrupts him, “Hey man, it's fine. I'm sure you have your reasons.”

 

A moment passes before Doyoung speaks up. “Do you want me to help you?” He asks quietly. Jaehyun flashed a close mouthed smile, dimples showing.

 

“Eh, it's alright.” The bell rings. “I gotta go, see you later.” Jaehyun walks to the door, but suddenly turns around. “I forgot, when you get to class, check your bag. I left a surprise.” He flashes Doyoung a smile before walking out.

 

Doyoung sits in confusion. He slowly emerged from his seat before picking up his pace when he realizes he needs to get to class.

 

Once in class, Jaehyun’s words run through Doyoung’s head. He shifts his eyes around the classroom and not many people seem to be there yet. Slowly unzipping his bag, he peeks in and tries to find what Jaehyun placed in there. He was hoping it wasn't anything too extreme like perhaps a condom or lube. Doyoung has been pranked many times by Jaehyun, resulting in long lectures by his parents.

 

Doyoung was about to give up on finding Jaehyun’s mysterious object until he fished out his materials for the class and something fell out of his notebook. On his desk sat a bright yellow daffodil with paper wrapped around the stem. He placed a hand over his mouth to suffice the gasp that was bound to come. Sitting down, he unwrapped the paper.

 

‘ _Good luck on your test!_

 

 _Ps. I'm lonely, wanna go on a date with me tonight?_ ’

 

How classy. There's nothing more romantic than asking someone on a date via a flower.

 

To be honest, Doyoung didn't think Jaehyun meant a real date, it was probably code for hanging out. That's what bros do, right? Doyoung wasn't opposed to the idea, however, he looked forward to going on a ‘date’ with Jaehyun.

 

Jaehyun was waiting outside of Doyoung’s class.

 

“That's not creepy at all.” Doyoung tells Jaehyun once he's out the door.

 

“Hello to you too.” He says sarcastically. “How did you do on your test? Oh! Did you get my surprise?” Jaehyun nudged Doyoung.

 

“I think I did okay. And yeah, I did get your surprise.” Doyoung’s mouth twitches at the memory.

 

“So? What's your answer?” Jaehyun presses.

 

They approach a staircase. “Sure. You can come over.” Jaehyun furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth but, before he can say anything, Doyoung sprints up the stairs.

 

* * *

 

 

Jaehyun stood on the curb of Doyoung’s home. He had texted Doyoung earlier to tell him that he was waiting outside his house. As he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, he contemplated whether or not he should just knock on Doyoung’s door like a normal human being instead of standing outside looking like an actual stalker.

 

Doyoung opened the door and walked out. He squinted at Jaehyun, which was caused by the sun setting in the distance. A puff of air was released as he walked down the porch steps.

 

“So,” Doyoung starts. “Where are we going?”

 

“That's for me to know and for you to find out.” Jaehyun slyly says.

 

Doyoung scoffs. Jaehyun holds out his hand, shoving a daffodil in Doyoung’s face.

 

“How many more of these am I going to get? I could make a bouquet with all the daffodils you give me.” Doyoung observes the flower as if he's ever seen one before.

 

Jaehyun shifts his weight to one leg, keeping his arms behind his back. He casually kicks a small stone. “That's kind of the point.” He mumbles. Doyoung pretends he doesn't hear Jaehyun, only for the sake of the both of their already rose-colored cheeks.

 

“Are you ready for our date?” Jaehyun raises his eyebrow playfully.

 

“You're not serious.” Doyoung narrowed his eyes st Jaehyun. The answer to Doyoung’s question was answered through Jaehyun’s facial expressions; eyes shifted to the ground, then back up at Doyoung in a shy manner. “You _are_ serious. Oh my. . .”

 

Jaehyun interrupted Doyoung, frantically waving his hands. “No, no, no. This is a date, but not a date date. Just a buddy date, if you will.”

 

“A buddy date,” Doyoung repeats, convincing himself to believe it. “Those exist?” Jaehyun doesn't answer him. “Huh.”

 

“Shall we go then? On our buddy date?” Jaehyun nudges Doyoung with his elbow.

 

With a sigh, Doyoung replies, “Sure. We shall go on our. . . Buddy date.”

 

Junior Year 

 

After sophomore year had ended, Jaehyun and Doyoung spent practically the whole summer together. There was never a day where they weren't hanging out. It's always been like this, however, Doyoung started to become suspicious of Jaehyun’s behavior around him. It seemed. . . Odd. Maybe it was because they were actually going through puberty, but, Doyoung had his own theories as to why Jaehyun was acting strange around him.

 

It was about a month into junior year when one of Doyoung’s theories was confirmed.

 

Doyoung swung his car keys in his hand as he walked to his car. He heard faint footsteps behind him, at first, he thought it was nothing. But once he turned around, he saw Jaehyun sprinting out of the school to catch up with Doyoung.

 

“Doyoung! Doyoung!” In response to Jaehyun, Doyoung turned around and continued to walk to his car. Jaehyun had finally caught up to him, Doyoung cursed his legs for being slow. “Doyoung,” Jaehyun panted. “Why are you avoiding me?”

 

“I have to get home.” Doyoung says dryly. “I have homework to do.” Pressing a button, Doyoung unlocked his car, opened the backseat and chucked his backpack in there. He slammed it shut before opening the drivers side door.

 

“That's not a very good excuse.” Jaehyun says. Doyoung looks at him with an annoyed expression. “Can you at least give me a ride home?” The sweetness in Jaehyun’s voice wanted to make Doyoung puke.

 

He nodded his head anyways. “Get in.” Doyoung motioned to the passenger side door.

 

On the ride home, Doyoung kept sneaking glances at Jaehyun, he seemed nervous, like he was about to speak in front of the entire school. Once stopped at a red light, Doyoung took a quick glance at Jaehyun, he smacked his hand.

 

“Ow! What was that for?” Jaehyun shouted.

 

“Stop biting your nails.” It was more of a demand than an answer.

 

“I can't help it, it's a habit.”

 

“Yeah, when you're nervous. Since when were you nervous around me?” Doyoung knits his eyebrows together

 

“You've been avoiding me, it's making me nervous, you're making me nervous.” Jaehyun admits, it's half of the truth.

 

“Jaehyun, let's talk about this at my house, okay?” Jaehyun nods silently at Doyoung’s suggestion.

 

They pulled into Doyoung’s driveway. Jaehyun never wanted to throw up more than he does now. He chewed on his lip, another bad habit. Doyoung noticed, but kept his mouth shut.

 

Jaehyun followed Doyoung into his house, up the stairs and into his bedroom. The one Jaehyun has seen more than enough times. Doyoung looked at Jaehyun, puzzled, because he was standing in the middle of the room and not flopped down on the bed where he would usually be.

 

“Jaehyun?” Doyoung was growing more and more concerned. “Are you. . .” Doyoung hesitated to ask, he saw Jaehyun’s eye glaze over. “Are you o-”

 

Doyoung doesn't even get a chance to finish his question.

 

“I like you, Doyoung!” Jaehyun spits out. The tears are now gushing.

 

Doyoung stands there, lifeless, almost as if his soul had left his body. His heart thumps in his chest. Hard. His throat goes completely dry.

 

“Say something, please.” Jaehyun begs.

 

Doyoung snaps out of it. He then laughs under his breath, which leaves Jaehyun very confused. Doyoung builds up the courage to step closer to Jaehyun, he reached out and wiped under Jaehyun’s eyes.

 

“There's no need to cry.” Doyoung whispers, continuing to caress Jaehyun’s cheeks. Jaehyun gives a weak smile.

 

“I've liked you for a while,” Jaehyun chuckles. “I just couldn't hold it in anymore.”

 

Doyoung hums in response. They stay silent.

 

Jaehyun is the first to speak. “This is the part where you kiss me.”

 

Doyoung furrows his eyebrows. “Says who?”

 

“Says my positive version of the situation.” Jaehyun says seriously. Doyoung can't help but let out a slight cackle.

 

“Ah, you're so cute.” Doyoung suddenly compliments. Jaehyun stomach flips, the butterflies are knocking all of his organs over.

 

To be honest, Doyoung doesn't even know if he likes guys, let alone like Jaehyun more than a friend. Sure, Doyoung thought other guys were cute but, he never considered kissing them or dating them. He never really sat down and thought about his sexuality. He knew Jaehyun was gay, of course, he had suddenly blurted it out a day in sophomore year when him and Doyoung were hanging out. All Doyoung said was, “Okay.” And that was that.

 

Doyoung contemplated, hard. Meanwhile, Jaehyun was desperately trying to read Doyoung’s face, trying to find an emotion. Jaehyun just noticed that Doyoung was deep in thought, his hands moved from cupping Jaehyun’s cheeks to resting on his shoulders. Doyoung’s hands dropped to his sides with a sigh. He turned around, subconsciously pacing his room. Jaehyun stood completely still, he was still trying to figure out what the hell Doyoung was thinking.

 

“You know,” Doyoung started. Jaehyun perked up. Doyoung sighed. “I don't know how to put my feelings into a sentence.” He continued. He walked over to his desk where the half bouquet of daffodils sat and plopped down on the chair. Jaehyun made his way to Doyoung’s bed, sitting down on the edge of it. “I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry, Jaehyun.”

 

“It's okay.” Jaehyun half-heartedly smiled. “It was sudden.” He let out a light chuckle.

 

“Stop biting your lip. You're gonna make it bleed.” Doyoung said, not even looking at Jaehyun. Jaehyun immediately stopped biting his lip. “I know,” Doyoung starts, now looking at Jaehyun. “You're nervous. You're nervous and I make you nervous, I know.” Doyoung gets up and makes his way to Jaehyun. He stretches out his arm and pushes some hair out of Jaehyun’s eyes. He traces Jaehyun’s lips with his thumb. “You made your lip bleed. I told you.” Doyoung sighs once again. “That's not gonna taste good.”

 

Jaehyun’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull. “What does that mean?” He asks frantically. Doyoung giggles watching his friend freak out. “Stop laughing!” But it only makes Doyoung laugh more. Jaehyun tries to sit and pout, but he can't help but giggle at Doyoung laughing.

 

Doyoung eventually stops laughing. Suddenly, he becomes serious. “Jaehyun,”

 

“Hm?”

 

“I think. . .” Doyoung trails off.

 

“You think. . .” Jaehyun mocks, earning a hit from Doyoung. “Hey!”

 

Doyoung points a finger at him. “Listen,”

 

“I am! Okay!”

 

Doyoung continues, “I think that I may like you back?” He spaces most of his words out, his voice goes up at the end, making his statement more like a question. “I think!” Doyoung reinforces. Jaehyun’s face immediately lights up, cheeks turning pink, dimples showing. Jaehyun covers his mouth and gasps. He suddenly stands up and wraps his arms around Doyoung. He lets go, letting his hands fall onto Doyoung’s shoulders.

 

“Can I kiss you now?” Jaehyun asks.

 

“No.”

 

“Please?”

 

“No.”

 

“Please?” Jaehyun pouts.

 

“No.”

 

“Fine.” Jaehyun crosses his arms. “Can I at least kiss you on the cheek?”

 

“I guess-”

 

Before Doyoung can finish talking, Jaehyun plants a tiny kiss on Doyoung’s cheek, which immediately turns red. Jaehyun giggles like a child before leaving Doyoung’s room. Doyoung lightly touches the spot Jaehyun kissed.

 

Maybe Doyoung does like Jaehyun a lot more than he thought he did.

 

End of Senior Year 

 

Doyoung bit his lip nervously. He must've picked up the bad habit from Jaehyun. Fuck him. Now, because of Jaehyun, Doyoung has to deal with his bleeding lip.

 

The main reason why as to Doyoung was so nervous was because he was standing outside of Jaehyun’s door, waiting for him. In Doyoung’s hand he held a pin, but it wasn't just an ordinary pin. It was a (poorly) handcrafted flower pin. Doyoung spent forever trying to make this damn pin by watching unhelpful YouTube tutorials and reading even more useless guides on other websites. But, Doyoung knew that Jaehyun would cherish this pin with his entire being.

 

As Doyoung looked at the pin, he noticed his hands were shaking. This only happens when he's about to present in class. He didn't quite know why he was about to go into cardiac arrest, he was only taking Jaehyun to prom.

 

After Jaehyun had confessed to Doyoung, nothing really changed; they hung out like they would always do. Neither of them would talk about how they would further their relationship — that's if they decide to go further. Doyoung, unfortunately, was still confused about his feelings towards Jaehyun. Mentally, and physically, he wanted to kick himself in the ass and just go for it. Doyoung was sure he'd figure it out after spending his last prom with Jaehyun. After all, Doyoung did ask Jaehyun to go to prom with him.

 

It almost felt like an eternity before Jaehyun opened the door. Doyoung felt like the air was knocked out of his lungs when he saw Jaehyun. He looked absolutely gorgeous. Jaehyun stepped out of his house, standing awkwardly close to Doyoung. Doyoung backed up a little, shoving the crappy handmade daffodil pin towards Jaehyun.

 

“I made you this.” Doyoung mushed all of his words together in one breath.

 

“I can tell.” Jaehyun teased. They both let out airy laughs. Doyoung leaned over, sticking the pin into Jaehyun's suit. Jaehyun moved his hand from behind his back to in front of Doyoung. “I didn't make you it, but, it's the thought that counts, right?” Doyoung wasn't surprised when Jaehyun was holding out a daffodil.

 

“Yes,” Doyoung said, grabbing the daffodil and shoving it into the breast pocket of his tux. “It's the thought that counts.” He repeated. “Ready?” He asked, holding out his hand.

 

“Yeah.” Jaehyun quietly said, taking Doyoung's hand in his. Jaehyun was trying to stay calm so his hand wouldn't get clammy. He really didn't want Doyoung to let go. Doyoung squeezed Jaehyun's hand, making Jaehyun more nauseous than he already was. Doyoung led both of them to his car, where they

had to eventually let go.

 

* * *

 

“Where are your dates?” Jaehyun's friend, Johnny, asked.

 

“Jaehyun is my date.” Doyoung says.

 

“Oh, cool.” Johnny smiles. Jaehyun didn't know how he was friends with him, honestly. Johnny turned to a guy, who was about five times shorter than him. “Ten! Jaehyun and Doyoung are dating!” He was yelling, which was caused by the deafening music, but Jaehyun was still panicking.

 

“No, no it's not-” Jaehyun started. Doyoung cut him off.

 

“Yeah, we are dating.” Doyoung felt relieved to say it. Jaehyun looked at him, worriedly, like Doyoung had been drinking and there was no way for him to comfortably admit that.

 

After the small talk between Johnny and Ten, Jaehyun pulled Doyoung aside.

 

“What were you talking about in there? We haven't even discussed it ourselves.” Jaehyun whispers.

 

Doyoung just shrugs. “I've decided.”

 

“Decided what? What was there to decide?” Jaehyun was genuinely confused.

 

“That I like you, Jaehyun. I like you a lot. I may even love you.” Doyoung admitted. Jaehyun was frozen in place. This is not how he expected his last prom to be. He thought him and Doyoung would casually go together and that was it. He wasn't expecting Doyoung to _confess_ to him. “I love you, Jung Jaehyun.” Doyoung said, making sure Jaehyun was comprehending what he was trying to say.

 

Jaehyun didn't even notice Doyoung was holding both of his hands until he looked down. A few moments of silence passed before Jaehyun spoke up again, smirking, “Can I kiss you now?”

 

“No.” Doyoung said, quickly, as if he was expecting Jaehyun to ask.

 

* * *

 

 

Doyoung parked his car in his driveway. His original plan was to just walk Jaehyun home and then walk home himself, but, he changed his mind. Doyoung glanced at Jaehyun, who was biting his lip. He grabbed Jaehyun’s hand, causing him to almost immediately stop biting his lip and to just _relax_.

 

“Do you wanna spend the night?” Doyoung suddenly asked, not even looking at Jaehyun.

 

Jaehyun was glad Doyoung wasn't looking at him. He probably would've giggled at the way Jaehyun’s head snapped up and how much of a tomato he looked like. “S-sure.” Jaehyun stuttered.

 

Jaehyun and Doyoung went up to Doyoung’s room, both getting dressed into more comfortable clothes. Doyoung took the daffodil that was in his breast pocket and stuck it where the other ones were on his desk. Jaehyun smiled at Doyoung as he sat down on Doyoung’s bed, twirling the pin between his fingers.

 

Doyoung strode over to where Jaehyun was and sat down next to him. Jaehyun placed his head on Doyoung's shoulder. Doyoung pressed a light kiss on top of his head, combing his hands through Jaehyun’s hair soon after.

 

“Oh, so you can kiss my head but not my lips? I see.” Jaehyun said seriously. Doyoung just smiled at him.

 

“Why do you want me to kiss you so much?” It was a dumb question. But, Doyoung wanted to hear the dumb answer.

 

“Because we love each other, duh.” Jaehyun stated matter-of-factly.

 

“You never said that.” Doyoung teased, he was trying to hide his smile. “You only said you liked me.”

 

“Kim Doyoung,” Jaehyun scolded. “You're pissing me off.”

 

Doyoung sighs. “Of course you can kiss me, just ask.”

 

Jaehyun hesitates. “Can I kiss you?”

 

“No.” Doyoung says. Jaehyun groans.

 

Jaehyun tries again. “Kim Doyoung, I love you.” He coos. “Can I k-”

 

Doyoung interrupts Jaehyun by leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Jaehyun’s whole body relaxes. Doyoung lets go as Jaehyun’s eyes flutter open. He squints at Doyoung.

 

“You interrupted me.”

 

Doyoung shuts Jaehyun up with another kiss and that was that.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> twt: @nohyuckcafe


End file.
